THIRTEENTWELVE

The "are you Nick Gilbert" page has been updated - hopefully its position in search engines will go up a bit now.

And Phil Neville, in my opinion, is a cunt. Not for any football exploits. Shit I know nothing of his football exploits. Its a faggots game anyways. Hes a cunt that drives big fancy cars. And more to the point hes a cunt because he drives big fancy cars like he is someone special, because he drives like a cunt.

He cut me up twice on the motorway the other morning, in 2000PN, a black Bentley Continenal Flying Spur. And he did it being a clever dick smart ass by going undertaking traffic on the motorway as the fast lane slowed down a bit. And then swerving back into the fast lane when it suited his need.

Seems the £115,000 Bentley Continental Flying Spur does not come fitted with indicators. Or the driver inside doesnt come fitted with respect or manners or a sense of the fact he isnt any more important or special than the rest of us.

Shit hes not even real valley folk and for that kinda money he should of bought an Aston Martin. But then hes a footballer. I suppose I should be glad the Bentley he has doesnt have red neons and chrome wheels.

Phil, or Punch as the locals call you (his wifes named Judy erm Julie and the couple have a big P and J on the gates to their house) - stop fucking cutting me up or I will spit on your car you fuck.

Shit you guys been waiting 6 weeks or something for me to post.

Pressure is on. Whatever ever I post best be good. PRESSURE....



So, what the fuck is it with scallies and fucking fishing?

I'm sat wearing my ace 13twelve boxer shorts and my ace thirteentwelve hoody (from which a new skin for the site coming soon) that Sparkle made/had made for me for my birthday. They totally rock! Cheers chick!


And behind me there are twelve 2 litre bottles of Pepsi - a litre for every year I have graced this Earth, courtesty of my boss, Frankit - cheers bro.

(13 - 1) + 12 !

Recently theres big much more emphasis in this office about the boss and his girlfriend remembering their mobile phones. Largly because the boss' girlfriend often forgets to take it, turn it on, take it off silent or charge it (so much so that the phone has now been lost).

And the boss is usually very good at taking his phone. Though sometimes, he forgets. Sometimes he forgets at right awkward times when all his mates are trying to find out where he is when they're frantically organising a gig. And sometimes he forgets it and it doesnt even ring once.

Yesterday he set off to a meeting with his mobile. Oh and the office cordless phone too.

Still, better safe than sorry.

The other day I was in the one of the local shops buying Cadburys Snack bars (*the* choclate bar of the moment they are teh s3xx0r).

While I'm in there theres a tall guy, dressed in like West Indian/Nigerian get up, like a big bright yellow and red poncho type thing with a matching hat and big thick rimmed bronze glasses and hes preaching about Europeons not eating bananas untill the beginning of the last century, sugar plantations, tea plantations and cocoa plantations - hes not getting political, or bringing up slavery or wages or anything - hes just telling this other guy, rather adamantly how things are and where (the other guy must have made the mistake of making eye contact or summin..).

This, in itself, isnt that unusual for this are. Its full of crazies.

But what did make this situation somewhat more funny was the fact that while this 6 foot plus guy was preaching about bananas, sugar and cocoa - he was also flicking through a copy of "Black Booty" magazine; which was full of tits, ass and twats and so was on full show to everyone at the counter of this shop. Good man.

I'm all famous on the BME site again in lowbrets and surface piercings.

(though i'm wrongly named as 13Twelve...)

Recently Jade Goody wrote off her Porsche Cayenne (£60,000+ 4x4) after swerving to miss a deer, flipping the car, hitting up to 12(!) trees. She then got out and fled the scene (oh and she still hit the deer). The magazine I was reading this in, Heat (sunday dinner time at Freespirit, its either that or Zoo! magazine...) then went on to say "fortunatly Jade escaped with only minor injuries and police will not be charging her for dangerous driving".

What really irks me about this event is not that she fled the scene (which is a crime), not that she hit the deer (in 200,000+ miles of driving I have never
seen a deer on a road), not that she wrote off the car (I never understood the porsche 4x4) and not that shes not being charged by anything from the police
(she *must* have been speeding, no doubt - the maths how to calculate her speed are not out of the reach of accident investigators and she fled the scene, which is an offense as previously stated) and not even the fact that Jade Goody survived and the deer didnt (life just isnt fair).

No, what really irks me to the point of wanting to drive down south to find her and shout "oi goody and the rest of the country who seems to give a shit about your pityful, pointless, boring, inane, pathetic existance - fuck right off" is the fact that not only did she become famous for being a stupid, talentless, ugly stain on this country shes now still famous because of this and shopping. So famous that she can afford to own not 1, but at least 2 £60,000+ cars, a big house, continually be out shopping, have plastic surgery, go on holiday loads and has somehow gotten to a state where she believes shes better than the average Joe by continually parking her cars in disabled spaces in supermarkets.

To be fair, Jade Goody is why life is not worth living.

Huggermuggering ipod.

Edgeing my bets to become a googlewack now, as the earlier posted one seems to return a result in google if you google it in sweeden.

Big ups Swedophile on this one!


(and of course this will bring up "Calgarian huggermuggery" and "preturbed huggermuggery" as more googlewacks lol)

Frankits word of the day: "perturbed".

"In 1312, during the Council of Vienne, the Pope dissolved the Templars as a religious order.

Medieval Knights of Templar (who where also possibly responsible for the French Revolution), Prory of Zion, the Pope, Merovingians and the Da Vinci code.

Or something.

Calgarian sublunary.

I am now/will be/was a Googlewack.




(when this gets read by google it should appear as a googlewack)

The Wendyhouse rocked!

Leeds people cant understand me in full flow, or keep up and I am useless with glow sticks as I spent most of the time chasing the ones I got from some guy around the floor (after exchanging them for a lolly pop some tall goth guy gave me).


I am, though, quite jealous of my boss who got to meet Mr. Cybernetic Broadcasting System at his gigs in Glasgow and Manchester this weekend.

B. O. S. S. Boss.

mmmhnhhnnn. mmnhhnm mnhhnm mn mhnmmnh

Shit.

I had a bar of choclate in my car that I was bringing into the office, via my back pocket (as this pocket didnt contain my wallet, keys or phone).

And I forgot about it till about 5 mins ago.

Shit. Been sat on it for 4 hours.

Now pissed off because, though, yes it will harden up again. It will harden up against the wrapper and now it will be difficult and messy to extract the chocolate from the wrapper.

Crap.