THIRTEENTWELVE

I'm all famous on the BME site again in lowbrets and surface piercings.

(though i'm wrongly named as 13Twelve...)

Recently Jade Goody wrote off her Porsche Cayenne (£60,000+ 4x4) after swerving to miss a deer, flipping the car, hitting up to 12(!) trees. She then got out and fled the scene (oh and she still hit the deer). The magazine I was reading this in, Heat (sunday dinner time at Freespirit, its either that or Zoo! magazine...) then went on to say "fortunatly Jade escaped with only minor injuries and police will not be charging her for dangerous driving".

What really irks me about this event is not that she fled the scene (which is a crime), not that she hit the deer (in 200,000+ miles of driving I have never
seen a deer on a road), not that she wrote off the car (I never understood the porsche 4x4) and not that shes not being charged by anything from the police
(she *must* have been speeding, no doubt - the maths how to calculate her speed are not out of the reach of accident investigators and she fled the scene, which is an offense as previously stated) and not even the fact that Jade Goody survived and the deer didnt (life just isnt fair).

No, what really irks me to the point of wanting to drive down south to find her and shout "oi goody and the rest of the country who seems to give a shit about your pityful, pointless, boring, inane, pathetic existance - fuck right off" is the fact that not only did she become famous for being a stupid, talentless, ugly stain on this country shes now still famous because of this and shopping. So famous that she can afford to own not 1, but at least 2 £60,000+ cars, a big house, continually be out shopping, have plastic surgery, go on holiday loads and has somehow gotten to a state where she believes shes better than the average Joe by continually parking her cars in disabled spaces in supermarkets.

To be fair, Jade Goody is why life is not worth living.

Huggermuggering ipod.

Edgeing my bets to become a googlewack now, as the earlier posted one seems to return a result in google if you google it in sweeden.

Big ups Swedophile on this one!


(and of course this will bring up "Calgarian huggermuggery" and "preturbed huggermuggery" as more googlewacks lol)

Frankits word of the day: "perturbed".

"In 1312, during the Council of Vienne, the Pope dissolved the Templars as a religious order.

Medieval Knights of Templar (who where also possibly responsible for the French Revolution), Prory of Zion, the Pope, Merovingians and the Da Vinci code.

Or something.

Calgarian sublunary.

I am now/will be/was a Googlewack.




(when this gets read by google it should appear as a googlewack)

The Wendyhouse rocked!

Leeds people cant understand me in full flow, or keep up and I am useless with glow sticks as I spent most of the time chasing the ones I got from some guy around the floor (after exchanging them for a lolly pop some tall goth guy gave me).


I am, though, quite jealous of my boss who got to meet Mr. Cybernetic Broadcasting System at his gigs in Glasgow and Manchester this weekend.

B. O. S. S. Boss.

mmmhnhhnnn. mmnhhnm mnhhnm mn mhnmmnh

Shit.

I had a bar of choclate in my car that I was bringing into the office, via my back pocket (as this pocket didnt contain my wallet, keys or phone).

And I forgot about it till about 5 mins ago.

Shit. Been sat on it for 4 hours.

Now pissed off because, though, yes it will harden up again. It will harden up against the wrapper and now it will be difficult and messy to extract the chocolate from the wrapper.

Crap.

I need to find out what the law is on the terms and conditions of using car parks and disabled car parking spaces.

On some car parks theres signs that say "cars are left at owners risk, the establishment takes no responsibility for the cars or contents" and some car parks have much bigger terms and conditions lists posted.

By parking on the car park, you are agreeing to said terms and conditions.

So.

So if I where to have a car park and I put on a terms and conditions board, that was clearly posted and easy to read and I include a condition that states:
"If you park in a disabled parking space and you have no disabled badge in your car and are clearly not disabled then the establishment reserves the right to smash your fucking car into small pieces, a fine of £100 shall also be levied."

And then in the section about fines related to over staying the parking length or not paying for the parking or whatever, you know the bits that say you might be clamped or fined:
"If you have parked in a disabled space and your car has rightly been smashed into small pieces, for each minute your car occupies over the paid for parking period, a fine of £100 will be applied."

And then perhaps further to that:
"If you feel these charges are unreasonable and would like to contest, despite you being fully able-bodied and parking in disabled spaces then there will be another fine of £200 for being an asshole and trespassing on this car park, which is private property and twats like you are not welcome here."


I'm fairly confident that if I did have a car park with this kind of system and other car parks where to follow suit - it would eliminate alot of parking on disabled spaces while giving alot of stressed out people a good vent for their frustrations.

If I ruled the world yo'

Theres 2 people currently looking at my site at the page archived on 01/11/2003 from this google search.

One is in "Notting Hill, Newham" and the other is in "Stevenage, Norfolk".

Assuming my guess that they know each other and they're interested in arm surface piercings then if you read this, email me and ask me any thing you wanna know. I had my arm pierced 4 times in the end (though unfortunatly they all came out and have left me with scars, though the scars are quite cool).

(I was just checking my stats out for the day)

Shouts to Sparkle. She posted me some Cornish Fudge! Dope.

Back up norrrth. Bah.

Been a good trip down south to see my Sparkle.

Spending time on the beach, running away from the sea, seeing mint goth Llamas in Newquay zoo (though Newquay itself still sucks) and then seeing St Micheals Mount (haha but not going to it as the ferries didnt appear to be working).

Happy birthday Sparkle and happy valentines.

teh s0uffe teh r0xx0r!

"hung chung fat boy"

Or summin.

This weekend saw the Chinese new year.

From the street traders I saw wandering around Manchester this weekend it would seem its the Chinese year of the dolphin, horse, moon or spongebob square pants (using the types of helium filled balloons they were selling as a tool for gauging the current Chinese year)

woof woof

Last weekend saw the triumph of my car DIY skillz0rs.
And Monday night saw, perhaps, saw the downfall of my car DIY skillz0rs.

My car, for a while, has cut out quite alot when your parking or in traffic - essentially when you put the clutch in. Which has led some of the doubters who have been privaliged enough to be passengers in my car - to say things like "you need to learn clutch control".

Um yeah, fuck off. Lol. I've usually been driving longer than people who say this and have covered more miles in more cars. Still, everybody likes a smart arse.

The problem with my car, I've known for a while, thanks to uk-polos.net. So last weekend I decided to tackle it - cleaning the throttle body with carb cleaner.

After getting the bonnet up, opening up the air box, moving the air filter and then putting a brick on my accelerator - the the throttle body sits there all open. Spray in carb cleaner and wipe off the crap. As there was lots of crap I was doing this for a while. I did have kitchen roll for the wiping but clearly I found using my hands (and eventually my face) a better way to clear this crap. Though I only remember using the kitchen roll. Perhaps just getting caught up in the moment eh.

After I put it all back together, fired the car up, big plume of black smoke and then after a bit it settled down. Idles higher and doesnt cut out. Oh and then drives much better, like you hit the gas and you go, response is miles better.

So Monday then. Car starts with a miss fire as I get off the motorway. Piss. Cant be do do with what I've done, misfires, I tell myself, are electrical problems, not air intake ones. So what could it be?

Well, one of two things.
- Ragging it around enjoying the new throttle response has ended the life of a part thats known for breaking on 16 Polos (and the same part went at similar miles on my 8v last year)
- Manchesters steepest street with grgx videoing mine and green9's screaming (G you screamed just as loud dude)

And the sodding part is twice as expensive as it was for my 8v.

And I still have to pay for a fuckin parking ticket (50quid first 14 days, 70quid after that - no £30/£50 like normal parking tickets)

fanny wack cunt bum fuck