THIRTEENTWELVE

Today i was checking through my webmails "pending" folder. If you send my webmail an email and you've never sent me one before, or I havent sent you one - it emails you automatically and asks you to confirm by replying to the auto mail.

Theory is a spam mailout wont do this, where as a person will.

So in todays pending folder, perhaps the greatest spam mail ever - one which really did make me laugh, the the subject line:

"Has your cum ever dribbled and you wish it had shot out?"

and the content body:
>>Has your cum ever dribbled and you wish it had shot out?
>>Have you ever wanted to impress your girl with a huge cumshot?

>>SPUR-M is the only site to offer an all natural male enhancement
>>formula that is proven to increase your sperm volume by up to 500%.
>>Our highly potent, volume enhancing formula will give our results
>>in days and comes with an impressive 100% guarantee.

>>Imagine the difference (look and feel) between dribbling your cum
>>compared to shooting out burst after burst. Try SPUR-M now! and
>>with our money back guarantee you have absolutely nothing to lose!


And now the word "spaf" has a meaning other than a friendlier way of saying spaz (which turns out less offensive - probably) todays randomness fits together nicely.

I wonder the exact terms and conditions of the "money back guarantee"...

What did I have for tea last night?

McDonalds.


What did I watch on Sunday night?

Supersize me.


Watching a dude eat McDonalds for an entire length of a film and not have any myself was well difficult.

Yeah yeah its soo bad and even worse for melodramatic Americans.

And I enjoyied every mouthful.

But was gutted cos I couldnt have a Munchies McFlurry which are mint, cos they had turned their machine off or summin.

For the second time my Morgan Stanley card has been victim of online credit card fraud.

I havent used it in ages, it was pretty much paid off bar 20quid or so, so this mornings email which read "your card is near its limit" was a surprise.

Phoned them up, disputed the transactions and have had my card blocked. There was 3 transactions, for for 250, one for 80 and one for 50 quid and another transaction pending for 26 quid.

Seems this time I've bought a body kit for a car in Scotland, some Anti Virus software and some other software.

The most comical, nay the only comical part of this was when the phone call was coming to and end and the lady on the phone said to me "good bye and thanks for using morgan stanley" to which I replied, "I havent, some other cunt has and thats why I phoned you" lol

(my apologies to that woman)

On my way into work this morning I drove past a mint Manchester Evening news bill board which read summin like "hheeeeaaavvvvninewzah".

Evening news rags have probably been the subject matter here before, as Bolton Evening news guy near that toy shop in Bolton seems to just shout "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeveninews" or just "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeues" and even Mr Scruff has commented on this, with the addition of an Evening News seller in Scruff world.

Speaking of Mr Scruff, we've been nominated for a Big Chip award for the best use of design (Now all we gotta do is win the award). So big ups to ourselves for that haha.

To the woman following me from the manc way into moss side earlier today I really did feel for you.

You where drying your tears, just unfortunatly not as quick as you where producing them and you looked despiratly unhappy even with your mad pink steering wheel and furry dice.

I hope whatever had you so upset driving clears itself up and you see light at the end of the tunnel. If I could of given you a hug I probably would.

(watching you like that brought back memories)

If your gonna go to france and you wanna take your car and you want to go over the water rather than under it, make sure you use Speed Ferries.

After the documentory last night Speed Ferries looks mint, the Danish bloke that runs it rocks and the actions and intentions of P&O and other ferry companies operating routes between England and France are disgusting.

Speed Ferries operates on a route not that no one else does, charging what they consider a fair price (irrelevant of the price fixed anti competative prices the other companies charge) and can only amount to the competition the other ferry companies face from Euro Tunnel and from low cost air lines, such as Easy Jet. Actions such as sabortage, bomb threats, shit stirring to press, customers and investors, luring of staff away and blocking the Speed Ferry Speed 1 boat in and out of ports is beyond the call of competative actions. Its just not cricket.

For your actions P&O and the other ferry companies involved, I hope that someday someone will shit in their respective CEO's eyes. For one, Michael Seymour you are a cunt.

Police cars around here have "Fighting Crime, Protecting People" written on them in big bold letters at the moment. Its a bit American and a bit ghey.

Perhaps it should say "stopping speeders, not bothering with rapists" or "park where we like, and getting away with it" or "above the law, better than you".

grr!

Last sunday night was mint. Ok so white noise was bobbins. It really was bobbins.

But the trip to the airport with [grgx] was probably the best way to spend a Sunday night.

And this was no, drive to the airport, see some planes maybe and drive home. This was a full on park up, go out on the spectators gallery in gale force winds (in my t-shirt as per usual) and watched planes take off. Then into terminal 1 of the airport, wander about, into terminal 3 which is small, and over to terminal 2 on the skylink. Back to terminal 1 to get some food, get asked questions by staff over my piercings.

Highlights definatly include the wind, the disposible toothbrushes and the fact that the 500ml bottle of coke which I drank that night walking around made me put 0.2 kg on in weight...

To the dude in Tesco wearing the boxing boots. We're sorry for mocking you.

lol no wait, no we're not.

Comes to bread bit of Tesco and this guy is messing with his boxing boot things hes wearing, which arent even Adidas.

So I begins to laugh. Sparkle begins to laugh. So I sing "hes got the eye of the tiger.." and dance away.

Your a muppet for wearing them. For one, it wasnt cool for guys to wear them. And two, the fashion for wearing them was 6 months ago. Muppet.

I tell you whats piss annoying.

When you step in a puddle with one foot and then kick the splash with the other.

Got spots? squeeze em

not posted for a bit, couldnt be arsed.

I've not been a festive kinda person for as long as I can remember and to be honest I dont really like new years eve either.

It all just annoys me.

Big shouts to the customers who came into our shop on christmas eve and where buying them selves things rather than panic shopping like many other muppets.

Other than that I've just not had that much time to write stuff here.

Well I have but never when I was close to my machine to do so. So ner.