THIRTEENTWELVE

While perusing the Nokia website, checking out what phones are coming out in 04 (as my contract runs out in Feb so I get to have a new toy) I stumbled accross these rather wild accessories.

I think they're insane, would I be the sort of person to wear one of these?

Also, this and this (esp as someone can just picture message the picture frame itself, rather than sending it you and you transfering it) are very cool - I must say I dont mind Nokias design style thingie now, even if a bit Apple.

As for what phone I want next, its quite likly its gonna be a 6600 (video, stills and memory card slot) as they're already out when Nokia say "planned for the 1st quarter of 2004" it means "networks will sell it in summer/autumn 2004" which rules out the 6230 (which plays mp3s, records and plays video and takes pictures - but does look like an 80s beo phone, but that doesnt bother me that much). The 3660 (updated round keypad phone, video, stills and memory card slot but wild looking thing) and the 6220 (stills camera, no memory card slot - but will probably be cheap) are possibilities though.

Ok so why do I need a phone that can do video and stills and shit? I dont for taking pictures and video - though I'm sure if I had one I would take quite a lot of both.

I want a phone that can play videos cos I downloaded Transformers the Movie in a fairly small size, both pixel size and memory size - small enough to fit on a memory card. I really like the idea that I can watch it on my phone. (think I've said that before, either on here or to peoples face as last year I nearly got the orange spv)

Oh piss.

I was gonna do one of my college projects by adapting a flash thing I built sometime ago with grgx's help for the Centrex Job.

Basically the array thing that picks random pictures and plops them into itself.

Pisser is, I lost the working version of it somehow with time.

Arse. Gonna have to make it from scratch now.

Shall we all go to the big Mac meet up?

I drove past a dirty white van on which someone had scrawled "WE HAVE KIDNAPPED SANTA"

Now usually I'd just chuckle that someone was scaring some kids, but.

The V in have looked like an L and the E looked rubbish, like an F, which gives the much funnier message:

"WE HALF KIDNAPPED SANTA"

Ho ho ho

The mini pink fridge I bought scorpionfish last christmas doesnt work on a normal fridge basis where it aims to chill to 5 or 6 degrees (or whatever).

Instead, it works on a principle where it tries to chill it insides to 15 degrees colder than room temperature (I guess this makes it a chiller and not a fridge technically).

Seen as currently its bloody freezing outside and scorpionfish's room is quite exposed being a dorma and on the outside of the house - its causing the fridge to freeze cans of Pepsi, Sprite and the bottles of water in their.

Its like Pepsi flavoured slush puppies and I swear I never drank anything as cold. If your mega thirsty dont bother - gulping the liquid which is so cold just gives you a major ice cream head that doesnt shift for ages while also freezing your throat and stomach which again, is quite uncomfortable.

But to drink Pepsi like the described for pleasure. Hmmm

also; watched a telly program about Cokes decision to make "New Coke" in the 80s. I'd read about it already in my research into Pepsi vs. Coke - but still the program was interesting. Some lawyers sent the chairman and vice president of Coke then a letter saying "sign this at the bottom" as they wanted the signatures of "the two dumbest men in history". A big "L O S E R S" to Coke from 1312 for knowing you sell what consumers consider to be the lesser tasting cola drink and being unable to do anything about it. Though the admission of the then chairman that "New Coke" was Pepsi-Cola in a cape - a criticism I belive was universal. (funny how rumour has it that Pepsi bought Cokes recipe in the 20s under the "cant beat them join them banner", added more sugar and it worked for them - ironic it wouldnt work the other way round I guess)

Why did I manage to post that post so fast after being told people were reading it in the pub?

Simple. I'm a student (and so possess special powers)

And as I bought the Transformers Series 2 Part 1 region 2 box set (yeah fuckin type that into amazon) I have not 1, not 2, not 3, ~ , but yes 25 episodes of Megatron and Starscream to watch.

Currently watching "Insecticon Syndrome" in which the Insecticons gorge themselves on a nuclear power station power, grow really big on protons and plot to take over the Decepticons. Soundwave hears their plan, so they implant a cerebro shell and make Soundwave go under their control (which fucks things up cos Soundwave is totally loyal to the Megatron).

A bunch of Autobots get twatted - but they're lame and deserve it those do-gooders (they get killed in the movie - one point blank execution style by Megatron)

How this episode finishes I dont know, you'll have to wait 8 mins for that...

(Fuckin yanks already got season 3 out while us muppets gotta wait till next april for season 2 part 2)

Hello Guys ( you know who you are )

Contemplating sending a press release from thirteentwelve.com to Design Week to give Manchester a small voice in Design Week instead of hearing about a bunch of random Joes I never heard of moving between jobs in a bunch of London companies I never heard of.

"Manchester creative 13twelve takes short break from Manchesters buzzing meejah scene to have a doss in a alt sportswear shop in the heart of Manchesters retail commercial redevelopment area - though he promises to be back around the middle of next year and hopes to gain employment with the BBC"

(be warned BBC muhaha)

Speaking of Design Week and the BBC (though it might of been channel 4 that ran this program) - fame.

Design Week a couple o months ago had letters and articles about famous designers - and how in some areas of design (primarily those not in fashion) that there were no "stars" or famous designers, as they just didnt bang the drums about themselves.

Which made me think, "fuck me a role for me in the design industry after all". Then the clear realisation that, though I'm not talentless (oi!) I'm not currently the most talented designer in the UK which would make any fame difficult to come by.

Instead what I need is some of the Jodie Marsh talentless fame. Piers Morgans series on fame highlighted this problem with the fame game and though he said it was a bad thing, it still happens. So fuck that, my route is clear.

(NB my talents are talking shit - does that count?)

So could I be a famous not-highly-talented designer? haha

Fuck I thought my bread was taking a long time to toast.

Toasters not plugged in. Piss.

So they've caught Saddam - in a brief moment of thirteentwelve.com doing satire - and they're thinking of giving him back to the iraqis for them to deal with.

First thing I thought "what if they but him back in power?"

Haha now that would be an expensive Cruel Joke (a top soulwax tune).

To be childish (once again) - it sounds a little like a class war, the bathists (who clearly from the name keep clean in baths) against the shites (theres lots of dirty shites around that could do with a bath)

Or have I got it wrong?

Sometimes email is worth checking.

Today I finds an email from Nick Gilbert in my inbox.

All it said was that he was Nick Gilbert, but didnt look like *the* Nick Gilbert.

This Nick Gilberts photo was attached (though quite what the fuck hes doing in the photo, I dont know)

So everyone big up this Nick Gilbert (and wonder if he *is* Nick Gilbert, is *the* Nick Gilbert an imposter?)

Comedy. Got sent a pack by the Outdoor Group about starting employment with them.

In it is a letter from the MD of the company who starts it with "as a new and already valued employee" and then basically goes on to say "if you fuck off, you'll get sacked, so dont fuck up".

hahah

A walm welcome indeed.

(awaiting fuck up...)

In conclusion I cant beat 1.8 16v Astras coupes from the traffic light drag race.

In the 2 races I just had I got away from the lights quicker than my opponent both times. And to about 25 ish I'm faster, but I think his car just had more grunt and longer gear ratios - so when I shift gear he gets past.

He wasnt majorly quicker than me - but quicker all the same.

When we arrived at the 3rd set of lights - I needed to turn left, he went into the right lane, I flashed my hazards, indicated right and turned off. (flashing your hazards after traffic light drag is one of those unwritten motorist subculture ways of saying "cheers mate, good race" etc.)

He set off from the lights, very very slow with his passenger window open. I figure I would of been in for some shit from him, as I now doubt he knew the code. Unless he did and he just wanted chit chat.

His bloody girlfriend was irate though haha

So Jackass/skatevideos hits japan. Thank god their counter-culture is so insane, kerazee, wild and into Yoyo's.
Oh you guys...

Its clear where I was going wrong when I was a kid with yoyo's. I didnt wear a wrist support, black gloves or the ultra wacko jacko one white glove.

(also enjoyed the last punk song whose lyrics when "we're the kids in america" (I assure you it wasnt that british 80s pop song - but it did seem they where parodying it at the of the punk song) - when clearly these kerazee kids where the kids in Japan)

Thirteentwelve.com in Russian.

Thirteentwelve.com in Dutch.

Thirteentwelve.com in Japanese.

Particulary like the "DERTIENTWAALF" on the Dutch one. Translations all done using the thingie at systranbox.com

(Thirteentwelve.com Shizzolated [asksnoop.com])

(ok sorry mac users - I had fingers crossed it would work on a mac rather stupidly since its a fuckin active x thing - Mindless Self Indulgence - Pokemon - Bitches (.asf))

Finally linked up Asa's Ventrikal on the links page. Should of done this ages ago, for which I apologise to Asa.

The site is sounding really quite good now mind - have "Europe is Nice" on now - and though it makes me think of sitting in Pop Cafe or Oaklahoma in town, these arent bad things, its quite funky.

"are you polite, helpful and can drive? - then join us on the busses"

Wanted job ads are quite funny when they request such things from people who might apply. A few more from the back of this weeks Design Week. (usually they come in that "us, you, job" template)

Creative and Enthusiastic designers wanted, need the ability to work to tight deadlines, highly motivated etc. blah blah

What if i'm a dull, lax, lazy bum then? Am I screwed. Or is it that everyone that works in the design industry is all of those things? (erm, no) Or is it that every one lies when they apply? Or that people making the ads just look at what everyone else puts in their ads?

Have to big up Pure in Nottingham who make packaging, who state you "love junk food and table football, tolerate [their] limited music collection" and for you to send a "cv & recent samples with a cd of your favourite studio tunes" to them.

Finally I'm gonna get a bloody student loan in 2 weeks. Thank fuck for that!

Ahh the *not* updated Freespirit website - found via the Blacks Outdoor Group site, which I dont mind the look of really (does look like countless other corporate sites but still)

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota
monax materiam possit materiari?

(How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?)


(my school did latin lessons, some did it for that magic tenth gcse - not me mind)

Ok this post is taken from todays mailer from T-ShirtHell.com - its posted with total respect to them, cos I found it hilarious and couldnt find a copy of it on their site (plus at this hour of the morning whilst worrying about my cocking college report I couldnt think of anything better to post).

"One of my favorite holiday pastimes is teaching children the
true meaning of Christmas. Some people delight in telling
children that Santa does not exist. Actually, it is much more
fun to reinforce the story of Santa, and the valuable lessons
we can learn from him.

I ask them if they ever noticed how Santa brings better gifts
to wealthy kids. This is because Santa loves the rich more than
the poor. Do they know why that is? It's because that's
how God feels.

Christmas also teaches us the importance of chopping down
trees, displaying them in our homes for a week, and then
throwing them away. So, another important Christmas lesson is
that nature is for our amusement, and it's disposable.

If Santa gives away all of his toys, how does he pay the elves?
He doesn't. They are slaves. Even P Diddy pays his employees
3 cents an hour in his foreign sweatshops. Our final holiday
message is that slavery is OK."

Hahaha totally relevent to the kids at college doing the Design Management module.

What Brand Are You?

---Moi---
(stolen from here after reading this and hitting the recent refferers links)

General
-Personal Info Updated: December 01, 2003 - 5:50 p.m.
-Site started: cant remember- look in my archives if you care, 2002
-Age: 21
-Occupation: 0wning Freespirit big time and Design Student
-Past jobs: meejah type

Favorites
-Color: Blue, red, black (how vague - perhaps i should give hex refereces)
-Day/Night: Night
-Summer/Winter: Summer
-Cartoon Character: Megatron or Starscream
-Fave Food: Toast or plain double cheese
-Fave Movie: Transformers the Movie (can never think of a better responce)
-Fave Ice Cream: Ben and Jerrys Chocolate Chip Cookie Doh
-Fave Subject: myself (muhahahaha)
-Fave Drink: PEPSI!
-Fave Person to talk to on line: myself (via this blog)

Right Now:
-Wearing: Long sleeve Quicksilver shirt (sorry senate) bought with staff discount to hide my arm piercings
-Hair is: Too long and messy
-Feeling: Tired and about to shit self over college work thats not been done yet
-Drinking: Pepsi
-Thinkin Bout: Justifying why I havent yet done the college work and how to waste more time before starting it
-Listening to: the sound of my keyboard being hammered
-Talking to: myself via this blog
-Watching: the computer screen thingie

Three Things I Love (in no particular order):
01 | swearing
02 | sleeping
03 | mrs 13twelve

Three Things on my Desk:
01 | cds
02 | Pepsi
03 | mobile

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:
01 | say to Tony Wilson that that Alan Partridge played him so well in that film (sniggers)
02 | shoot some guns
03 | be famous (or imfamous)

Three Things You'd Like To Learn:
01 | to sing
02 | to play guitar
03 | anything/everything Philip Kotler/Gerry Johnson wrote about branding, marketing and strategies so I can do this fuckin design audit for college

Three Beverages You Drink Regularly:
01 | Pepsi
02 | Water
03 | Tizer

Been planning 1312/4 mix cd for my car. Currently it sits with:

jason mewes - jays rap 2003
morris day - jungle love
soulwax - my cruel joke
rammstein - spiel mit mir
snot - joy ride
bomb the bass - bug powder dust
alec empire - buried alive / and never be found / new world order (one of them!)
ladytron - evil
mindless self indulgence - bitches
perfect circle - judith
smashing pumpkins - bullet with the butterfly wings
the living end - roll on
marcys playground - sex and candy
backstreet boys - backstreets back
(some local band, whose name I've forgotten, for which I do apologise) - on a mountain.mp3

This proud young TYG (Terrys Young Geezer) I try to listed to "Wake Up To Wogan" as often as I can.

Recently thats meant hearing "Closest Thing To Crazy" a good few times too bloody many.

I think the reason Wogan likes it is the line, "Feeling twenty-two, acting seventeen," and as a proud 21 year old acting 16 I know the feeling - but still, playing the bloody tune every fucking day is totally pissing me off. Its not that bloody good, infact I'll be as bold as to say its fucking bland (esp after 1000 plays).

Infact, 21 acting 16 shown nicly with this tantrum. Ahem.

(Ladytron also point out that "they only want you when your seventeen" as according to the people they're singing about in "Seventeen", "when your 21, your no fun" - piss, why did I have to turn 21?)