THIRTEENTWELVE

Finally a white van man to respect.

The motorway had roadworks and a "one lane to two" thing going on. At around the 600 yrds sign its like the un-written law of the roads that you move over to the one lane, esp in at non-rush-hour times.

Very few cheeky drivers leaving it later. And then what decides too - a double decker bus.

Step up mr white van man. Who drove so his van was straddling 2 lanes, hence not letting the bus past.

As we crawled the next 600 yrds with the bus honking and flashing its light, the guy in the white van held his ground. Good man yourself sir.

Lets give a massive big ups to those Australian scientists who think they've solved the mystery of the Bermuda Triangle.

Those lasy bastards, what do you think we are, stupid?

For the answer the British television viewing public already knew, we watched the theory and demonstrations of the methane gas pockets rising to the surface, sinking ships and exploading planes 4 years ago on Channel 4.

Or is that rumour I hear about Australia true, that you only have them shite soaps to watch? (haha just like the one where they only drink Fosters or Castlemine XXXX)

Fiddly flash menu gone (though I dont think anyone even saw it).

I'd say is 90% now. Gonna add a black bar behind "THIRTEENTWELVE" - had done it on my mac but it didnt display properly on my pc and gonna sort the other page, so the content sits in two columns saving some of the scrolling.

I probably wont get time to fix them till next week though.

Now compat with both windoze (I'm presuming all versions of) and Safari on mac. And I think the comments are too.

And that will probably end my compatibilty attempts - Mac users should now have swapped to Safari cos lets face it, its better. This is still *my* website and not some corporate one, so I reserve the right to make rash decisions just like that.

(notable absense of mention for Netscape - its shit so course its not tested)

Current photo was of me by transparence and the lil css fix I must big ups grgx. I intend to have a rotation of pictures in the top - started to compile these now (infact I will gladly accept submissions and put pretty much anything up there, my mail addy is at the bottom of the page). It may mean using flash mx though, for yes, I used flash 4 for the above thing. Oh those where the good ole days where my screen wasnt flooded with a million and one palette and I could just double click to get everywhere I wanted.

Ok so the more dilligent of you will have noticed that thirteentwelve.com has changed. Woo (etc)

The comments arent 100%, enetation sending me in circles - I swear its not storing the template updates I'm telling it to.

Currently site is compatible with IE6 on Win Xp (so I'm presuming all windoze machines) but not displaying properly in Safari or IE5.5 on a Mac.

So Mac readers, either this whole gray bar thing is supposed to be in the middle of your screens (safari) or the flash thing at the top is not supposed to draw outside of the gray area and border line (IE).

Going to look at fixing it all tommorow.

Other than that, a fairly painless transistion bar a couple of hick ups. The archives are all there and complete but I accidentally lost the old site.

I made back up folders on my desktop and logged into my ftp with the intention of downloading the old site to back it up - then went delete crazy and wiped the whole frikken thing. (wiped index.htm rather than blog.htm) - which was a bit of a shitter.

I still have v1 of that site on my laptop, just the v1.3 that's was up here for 6 months+ has gone for good.

Big shame. Bit tit I am...

Lets get one thing straight. How stupid is David Beckham?

All your high-pitched impressions, old blond/essex girl jokes rebaged as Beckham jokes you can sit on and swivel.

For how stupid is David Beckam sat in his Bentleys, Ferraris or that palace he calls home and a bank balence rumoured to be around thirtee-five million pounds.

Yeah well thick. No wonder he doesnt give a toss what all those "intelligent" people think who diss him so readily.

Here at 1312dotCom we praise Mr Beckham, for theres no question that he ISN'T the best footballer ever - he worked his absolute ass off, trained day and night to be as good as he is. And for the ability to do that I salute you Mr Beckham. Big ups yourself.

And to those who diss him, shame on you.

Shame on you indeed.

(plus Beckhams gotta Pepsi sponsorship deal...)

I am totally going to 0wn that shop.

(Got the job)


(some more words, 0wned [nb, spelt with a 'Zero'], raped, n00bs [nb, also spelt with 'Zero's], hax0r [nb, you get the idea] - also note; non of these words are street or cool - but they have their charms)

Soon it will be a fairwell to Mercedez pimpin big Trevor from Pizza Express, whose leaving to sell fancy stereos once again.

We like Trev, who works not to get rich, but to be happy.

He did tell us a cool story though; every week for 6 weeks a fella has been going into that particular Pizza Express and every week for 6 weeks hes complained about everything.

To the point last week when Trev was in his own words, "point blank rude" to the man quizzing him as to why he keeps going back. The answer, randomly was "someones gotta tell you guys how to do it properly".

To which a quick, simple, honest answer of "Pizza Express profits are up, the staff ALL make good tips, its busy EVERYNIGHT and very, very few people complain ever".

Anyhow, said fella came in last night again, week number 7 and co-incidentally brought 6 people with him (making 7 dun dun duuuurrr).

Its a funny ole world.

Gutted to see G4 iBooks from Apple in my inbox this morning too.

Those iPod accessories are totally making a good thing, well, better though.

Your majestic one three one two is selling self to the Outdoor Group for a job at Freespirit in town when it opens today.

So, I'm sitting here at college wearing new shoes (my old ones where fucked), clean jeans, a shirt (!) and I'm cleanly shaven.

As yet I havent really thought about the job interview and I guess I wont till I walk through the doors and start it.

Fingers crossed y'all

er freaky email recieved from "emeori@yahoo.com" with the subject "may i know u" and then the following content:

hi
plse
let me know more

erm, what the fuck?

sings; "if you dont know me by now..."

Wow, we had a Frosties box that was plain. No finding Nemo toys inside shit or whatever. Just a big plain pic of Tony on the front and some bland advert for some other Kellogs product on the back.

Quite why that impresses me so much I dont know. I guess the planeness of it all just doesnt look right. Wheres the tacky shit gone?

(the vigilant of you will notice this post is from 16:33 which means 4:30 in the afternoon - but come on, Frosties like all Kellogs stuff is all day food, just like that old Corn Flakes advert tried to tell you)

(belive the hype people)

The post below had more of a direction untill I started writing it, then it waffled now when I think back to what I wrote mearly minutes ago I cant help but think "cock"

(but not as in "13twelve loves the..." more "13twelve is a...")

(cos we know who does love the cock, dont we readers, ahem, reader?)




(thats right Linda Fiorentino)

The story below brings me onto my next thing:

I swear not because I lack the articulation to express myself in anyother way, but because I like to

so fuck you everyone those thinks people who swear, especially excessivly are somehow lesser as people than you.

Though this rant could be against "educated" people, those who consider themselves "intelligent" its probably more a rank against people who simply belive they are "better" than swearing.

I have 9 gcse's and 4 a levels and have a good academic scientific background. I'm studying for a degree and have done acredited managment courses. My vocabulary is larger than most people would care to grant me on the surface and it isnt often I bother to utillise its depth.

Swearing, I challenge you, is infact a better way of comminicating a meaning and more intelligent than the so called "intelligent people"

Just think, as me and grgx have in great depth about how you say "fuck" affects how it is understood.

Say an overly smart ass word and it means what it means and thats it. Where as "fuck" can mean all manner of things dependant on context, inclination and sense of humour.

So fuck all you [squares who think swearing is for stoopide people]

I've never been one to complain about my bank before - they've never annoyed me to any extent.

I hardly every actually go to the bank, more a techno wizkid stylee doing it all on the 'net and drawing out loads from holes in the wall.

Today I made the trip to my local branch to get my student overdraft increased to its 3rd year max as my student loan hasnt come yet, I'm skint and want more free money (and want to pay of some credit card bills).

Though the bank knows I'm a 3rd year (they know when I graduate and when I started my course, they know what course and what uni and where I live and who I am etc) they wouldnt increase my overdraft.

Now, I didnt change my regular bank account to a student account till February, mid way through my 2nd year. I didnt need the overdraft and never paid attention to anyone that tried to tell me any other benefits to student accounts (are there any?) Oh and I didnt want to totally admit to be being a penny sniffing student (which would, lets face it, require a lifestyle change)

So cos of that, the banks overdraft granting computer thought I was a 2nd, at best, and wouldnt let me re-apply for an increase in overdraft till February'04 - and even then I could only get 2nd year overdraft (despite the fact the bank knows I'm a 3rd year).

So I recieved a "theres nothing we can do" - with no suggestions, help or other so I left the particular branch of this particular bank, nay building society with the words "perhaps one of the big four will help me".

So then, motivated to leave the Halifax, or least make them give me my overdraft I began phone calls. Barclays would offer me the 3rd year overdraft, RBS, HSBC and Natwest said they would pending credit approval or summin. And the Halifax phone staff said they couldnt put me through to any branch staff but they saw no problem with my story, apologised for my local branch short coming and suggested I go back and stand my ground, or try a different local branch if there was one.

Well there was. Though it meant me going to Burnley.

Sucess mind, they reapplied and emailed head office with the promise if it didnt work, they'd simply try again till it does or think of something else. Randomly the Burnley staff where helpful, pleasant and generally made my banking experience pleasurable.

And the racist, Falklands vet in the wheel chair who'd "live'd all his life in Burnley but had never been to Manchester" made it all that more interesting.

The weird, weird silly man.

Snoochies. Boochies. Noochies. Scorpion. Sober. Bonce. Penfold.

Laserquest.

Snoogins :-)

I woke up with the most amazing bed hair today. No really it rocked.

Was very tempted to make it the days style, as it looked fairly crafted.

Anyways, you wanna know something that smells really rank?

My arm piercing. If I munge it about a bit and then smell it, eugh! does it smell bad.

How odd.

Walked into my parents house after pulling into the driveway and noting that both my parents cars where in.

Opens the door, walks in - nothing. No noise.

Looks around. Their stuff is placed as it would be normally after walking in the house after work. Theres a hob on in the kitchen, burning on full and a pan with potatoes in it. Some bacon is in the middle of being prepared. The back doors also open, and it would appear some washing might have started its journey to being on the washing up line.

The cats been fed and is being, well, the cat.

But no parents.

How odd.

Infact the words to that rap go:

Fuck, fuck, fuck,
Mother motherfuck
Mother motherfuck fuck
Motherfuck motherfuck
Noise, noise, noise
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4
Noise, noise noise
Shmokin'Weed shmoking wizz
Doin' coke, drinkin' beers
Drinkin' beers, beers, beers
Rollin' fatties, smokin' blunts
Who smokes the blunts?
We smoke the blunts!
Rollin' blunts and smokin'-

(Uh, lemme get a nickel back)

15 Bucks, little man
Put that shit in my hand
If that money doesnt show
then you owe me owe me owe

-(My Jungle Love, I think I wanna know ya know ya)

According to mlyrics.com

Snoochi Boochies kicked ass at Laserquest.

Snoochies, your majestic 13 twelve and Boochies, h'uncle (tor)mentor kicked ass, securing our green teams victory over those pesky reds and red/green teams by getting scores of 900+ and 700+ respectivly.

Out of the 28 players we placed 2nd and 3rd - skywalker who came first was all of 2 feet tall and was near impossible to see being shorter than the walkway banistor height.

(Though he only got 4 points more than me)

Basically we kicked ass.

So the winter months roll in. Have to bear this one niggle about that.

The sun in summer is top.

The sun is now a pain in the arse. Always sitting too low in the sky so is always in your eye when your driving.

And driving the black 13twelve mobile the other buggeration happens. It traps heat like a greenhouse. So the sun comes out, bakes my car, I get in and am forced to drive with the windows open.

In summer I wouldnt complain. But now its cold my car shoots from being too hot to bloody freezing where the outside winds blowing in. Bah!

Lets take a minute to think about honey.

The honey I am now consuming comes from Asda. Check the ingredients list. Theres only 1. And thats honey. Good stuff.

Application of this hunny is easy. As it comes in a squeezy bottle. Open it up, turn upside down, squeeze over toast. Done. Good stuff.

but..

You do need to butter that toast first, way way to dry other wise.

It bloody happened again!

Last week I could of avoided the miles of stationary traffic had I just come off at the junction just before the stationary traffic started.

What happens today on my way home? Go past that very same junction to have to lamp on the brakes and crawl several miles because of more temp roadworks causing chaos.

By the time got to the road works they'd gone and so on first sights you've spent ages moving very slow only to immediatly speed back up again. Argh!