THIRTEENTWELVE

Oh yeah. Further to my previous post about the kings of the roads being busses.

I was wrong.

Big lorries, or juggernauts as people sometimes call them are the kings of the roads. The word is derived for hindi way back when and originally came from a word that meant god or something. (it seems most words are derived from gay things such as god, or peace or river or something).

So the lorries win out with their god like connections. Clearly. They're all dervs too, only I havent stared at their diesel tanks. Yet.

I would like to applaud Namco. (though I'm sure some one will think their game encourages illegal and dangerous driving)

The game is Wangan Midnight and is based on a manga film of the same name. I've never seen it and to be honest I probably never will.

And game critics may freak cos its using some technology from other racing games.

Big deal.

The point is you get to choose your favourite Japanese fast car and rag like holy-heck down a motorway racing some other car while avoiding traffic. Its like playing the fast and the furious, esp if you choose a Mitsubishi Evo and use the bumper cam view, so you get to hear your dump valve.

I like driving. I like driving fast. I dont want to get caught doing it. I like fast as they come Japanese turbo'd rocket cars. I cant afford one. Problem solved.

Hmm drifting at over 100mph through the middle of two cars with another car drifting just behind me with a raging smile on my face. Hmm.

What a rubbish rainy day it is today - the planned tennis match clearly didnt happen so I didnt get thin, fit and healthy like I wanted.

Just pay up a small amount to simply.com to keep on the boysarefragile.co.uk domain for another 2 years. Cant quite belive its been 2 years since I bought it, but I know it has.

I noticed while I was there that www.13twelve.com is no longer valid, it expired earlier this month - only I cant now register it cos it keeps saying its taken on various registras. But running those registras "who is" things gives a "not valid", "not found" kinda thing. Bah.

1312.com expires this November so the plan is to be there buying it the second it does so that filthy korean bastard who wants $5000 while he holds it doesnt get it again.

My goodness am I glad it wasnt my car.

Awoke to the sound of big breaking glass this morning in the wee hours of around 2am.

One of the kev lads up the roads car had its backwindow put through, while his house had its front window put through (in what, for many houses on the street was a bedroom, but for them a spare room).

And the culprit?

Well one of the 4 little cunts was caught by a couple of big scary ex army drunk fellas cos the dipshits chose to smash the windows right infront of them thinking they could out run them.

Well the one they dragged back was poo-ing it and didnt know his name, his mates names or where they lived - and it definatly wasnt him. After him get getting smart arsy and the army fellas threatening to break his legs and leave him in the middle of no where in the hills - he didnt know much more.

But, at 14, out at 2 am and drunk, he did confess to the whole thing. Apparently, so he wanted us to belive, he'd pay the grands damage to the house and car as he threw both rocks, which where as big as car wheels, at once, at two windows in two directions.

An hour later when the single copper came he got driven away.

Now y'see, had that of been a young driver like me, or the kev lad whos car got done in and we had been speeding - the cops would of been there in seconds and fining our asses.

Criminal damage and youths scaring the people of a nice neighbourhood. Nah they're fine.

Bah.

There is a king of the road.

And surprise surprise its busses.

Whilst driving home this morning I sat next to a bus. On its fuel filler cap it had written "DERV ONLY".

Now "DERV" is an acronym for: Diesel Engined Road Vehicle.

So; you can only conclude that as lions eat gazelle or whatever, then busses must consume other DERV's in-order to carry on its jobs.

At first you may be thinking "Wouldnt it just be easier to put diesel in its tanks?". Well yes. But its clearly genious; not only will feeding the bus other DERV vehicles means saving money on diesel fuel, but its also a good way of recycling banged up crappy old DERV's and eating the competitors so former DERV owners have to use the Bus to get where they need to go (having just watched their beloved DERV be eaten).

I'm safe mind - the Polo's petrol. (unfortunatly a PERV perhaps...)

(done on the new version of blogger - hmm - nice)

Me and Mrs13twelve have a Tesco card, though we hand it over when paying for stuff, I dont really have any idea what a my Tesco points can do, how many I have or how the system works.

My mum has a nectar card, bless them they're old and shop in Sainsburys. On the telly it said you can earn Nectar points through Vodafone, something else I also use. So I said I'd nominate my number for their collection, find me a leaflet or summin. And she did.

So, whats the Nectar points thing then. Well, 500 Nectar points, or 1 voucher, gets you a massive £2.50 off your Argos crap (like you ever shop there) which makes things like the Game Boy Advance "yours for just 18,000 Nectar points". Whoppeee.

To get 18,000 Nectar points is simple, you first need to know that spending £1 gets you 2 Nectar points. Simple, spend £9,000 and that GameBoy Advance is yours.

Erm. Surly the ratio's a little off. For the savings in money these companies get for learning its buyers habits surly they could pass this on to its subjects.
Unless knowing shoppers habits really isnt that important, I mean, how much of a science could it be?

I could tell the Rockport story from my days at JD Sport, where we'd just put the price up of old stock cos the gumps that buy Rockports then rushed to buy them up - but alas I wont. (piss sticks I did didnt I?)

JD Sports do the GoldCard where for every £100 you spent I think you got a £10 voucher. Which probably shows the massive mark ups companies have on products but you can see the appeal and return customers etc. (Though I never did, in the rush to meet targets of people signing up to bloody Gold Cards we made anyone and everyone sign up, kids, old people it didnt matter to us if they'd never been to a JD before in their lives nor would they ever come back)

Thats targets for you. Now I guess I should rant about Police being told every month they need to pull over 20 speeders, 10 red light jumpers....

Power currupts.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Haha good stuff.

So 2 Fast 2 Furious then.

Is it any good?

Well in a word. Frikken-hell-yeah.

Not the story mind, nor the script, cast, crew, director or any of that usual stuff that makes most films any good.

Loud aggressive rasping exhausts, turbo chargers, whisping dump valves and big bling chrome rims. Lots of noise and lots of hollywood budget modded motors.

Once again makes me set my sights for getting a Honda Integra type-R and creating my own. Or a Nissan Skyline. Or Evo 8. Or...

I also notice that no-one has yet bought me 18s or 19s for my car. Whats the deal with that? Darn that wish list...

So, Jim Carry.

What a twat. Straight to the point.

He has never been funny. Still isnt.

Though I guess on some level you have to respect the effort he must continually put in to look like such a twat.

No Jim, you where no where near half as funny as the man himself, Johnny Vegas on the other weeks Jonathon Ross.

Now Jonathon Ross is someone I dont think is funny either, hes not a comedian. Not a bad presenter of telly but not nor never was a comedian. Anyways you gotta spare a thought for the fella who is unable to say his own name, Jonathon Woss.

Though his telly show did have one Mr Marilyn Manson on too. "How would you best describe yourself and what you do to those people who are not really sure who or what you are?

"Icon".

Well me to. I'm re-affirming. I'm totally internationally famous. You just dont realise it yet.

My name is...

Bawitdaba-da bang-da bang-diggy-diggy-diggy ziggy-diggy-diggy-up 13twelve

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Statement: "No song called 'mother' should have the words 'nipple lickin' in it"

For sure its just gross.

And though I'm tempted to just leave it at that, I will make sense of it, check your Rammstein 'Mutter' album out, hit track 6, 'Mutter' and flick to 1:15. Y'see.

(gotta say the few seconds after 2:35 are lovely as are the first few seconds of the first track)

Ok explain this to me.

When making pizza's in the oven. No not from scratch, from boxes from Tesco, in this case Chicago Town pizzas (which rock by the way).

So when making pizza's in the oven, why does the cheese melt from individual strips into one big mushy thing, but then when left too long burn crisp in the original stipped state?



Y'see, melted cheese on the right, burning back into oringinal individual strips on the left. Madness.

gone!

If one more freakin white van man pisses me off - then I may have to retailiate with real action.

Now lets weigh this up; how clever is it to be a twatty driver and then shout and swear at me, with your companies name, phone number and address written on the side of your white van?

Well durr.

So, everyone wish their hate to W. H. Good electrical contractors - cos today, he was the bigger of the 2 cunts in white vans that pissed me off today.

Have fun dropping different rims onto a Polo (and many other cars)



Then comment here on what suits it best.

Got that?

I've had trouble logging in here so apologies for the silence.

Mind you I've been all busy with boring old coursework, which, if I'm honest I'm not wholly confident its as good as it could be.

I knew my stuff and knew what I wanted to say and I put it all down. I just usually feel more confident about stuff.

Mind you, I've handed in shitters before and got top marks and handed in top stuff and got shit all for it. Haha.

The flash presentation video thing I did I'll look into putting online, stumped by not having alot of webspace so not sure it'll fit.

The funniest thing to report is thanks to "Loose Women" on ITV. I know its a dinner time Tv show for those day time Tv viewers who are women. But like most day time Tv its prime student watching.

Anyways, last week they had on the women who started Ann Summers and so where talking about what it is they do.

So the most hilarious thing I heard all week was during a discussion about the various outfits you can buy at Ann Summers and the quote "why cant you buy a dinner lady outfit?".

Hmmm sexy..

So at 65 inches, or 165 cm (which incedentally is about as tall as me stood in my Osiris D3s) my 5m Stanley Powerlock tape measure would stand proud no more.

Though from 60 inch up to 65 inches things where getting shaky and frankly a bit hair raising.

Now quickly, go find a tape measure and tell me how many inches you can get to stand proud before it gives in and flops down. (oh hardy ha ha inches standing proud and flopping)

A surprisingly fun site, The Covers Project.

So far found it most fun to type in the name of every band I know to see what cool covers they've done I didnt know about and who covered what of theirs that I simply must here.

Like the Deftones doing Clint Eastwood for example.

The Japanese Muse?

No, Polysics are a breed of insane. And bloody prolific.

Hit this and then the lil play button. Insane Japanese radio - but not, as I hoped, Polysics tracks. Still its fun.

Clippet you dolt.

Why change "as most escalators are driven by ac induction motors so operating speed is constant" to "ac induction motors so operating speed drive most escalators is constant" ?