THIRTEENTWELVE

Did I ever post the picture of my nape while it was fresh?



(well clearly I have now)

Been trying to hack at Try 2 Hack. A site with levels of hacking to attempt.

Its mainly an exercise in java reading right now, as I cant do Level 4. I've never in my life had to open a Java Class before and have no idea what to do with it.

So it may very well be Level 4 I end on.

Though proud I managed Level 3 to be honest!

Should I change my name to Tyler.

Hmm.

Tyler "13" Twelve.
That'd look good in a movie credit.

Hmm - perhaps my film/rock star name is born.

I've just died my hair red. Theres gonna be no pictures here mind.

Cos I would have to first photoshop the colour *to* red.

Why?

Largly cos my hair seems to have turned out salmon pink rather than red - but my face and neck went a nice colour of red.

Now previously I've had good things to say for Jerome Russel all in one hair dye kits - indeed the red and the blue have done the trick in the past just fine.

So what happened this time? Well this time I went for a whole head coverage and not just streaks. Then during the "apply heat" phase the hair dye began to dry up, crumble out and go everywhere. Which wasnt good. So I spent my hair dye development time seeing bits of red everywhere and cleaning like there was no tommorow (as it wasnt *my* bathroom - this could very well have been true).

The more frantic I cleaned, the more dried almost powder like hair dye fell off and the more of the floor got coloured.

Then in the washing off phase, head down into a bath running lots of warm water through my hair, where it drips on your face and runs into the bath, as usual - all looked well.
The colour of the stuff running off was a lush blood red and I figured the same fate was for my hair.

But no.

The drips on my face coloured that and my hair washed out to a salmon pink.

Now I sit in pain after an hour struggle to get the red camouflage look out of my face and neck with nail varnish remover, hot water and the absolute star that was "eye makeup remover" and dove foamy cloth combo, still with shitty coloured hair.

Tesco it is later on then, to pick up some more red dye or maybe just some black and conceed to not having cool coloured hair.

Argh! Its ALIVE!

Or so a motorway sign near here might have you belive. It reads "Men at work in live lane".

Oh really? Yes sir.

(the men where infact working in the dead lane - if you take the lane they kept open for traffic as the live lane)

Duh-----duh-duh-duh----DAH!

So sue me its another transformers link. But, as you navigate this Japanese site, which is in Japanese with very little English, you'll see a Flash Decepticon to Autobot scene changers with the Duh-----duh-duh-duh----DAH! that, as kids, we all loved.

Not only do you get a crazy Japanese version done in flash, but if you check the Generation 1 storylines and character lists (or the red circle buttons) you get a crazy flash copy of the cartoon Duh-----duh-duh-duh----DAH! too.

Good stuff.

(its odd, as the American dubbed cartoons stopped at season 3 - after that the cartoons actually start to look like they got cheaper and more Japanese and less American)

Hey remember the 80s?

Sure you do.
Well I've done plenty of Transformers rants (and rightly so, they rock).

Thinking back myself, the other good cartoon I remember was M.A.S.K or the Mobile Armored Strike Kommand (big site). Hearing the theme tune [from] really took me back to those cheesy moral endings it used to have.

(Un)fortunatly I cant spend lots of money on M.A.S.K dvds from Hmv, cos there isnt any. Piss.

GOURANGA !

GOURANGA ? (so its not the company that makes them then)

Gouranga ?? (seems boringly likey unfortunatly cos it could of been something cool)

Oh Gouranga! (my gawd this guys site is boring - scream with me now, GEEK!)

Ahh gouranga! (I doubt it)

If your wondering, wtf, then, its the word thats postered onto a big chunk of the countries motorway bridges. I did think it was just the company that made them, originally, then when GTA got released, I laughed at the usage of the word in that game. Though, boringly it seems to be to be some sorta legalise campaigne or perhaps a home delivery system for drugs. Which is boring.

Much rather it be a code for the milatary or aliens or summin, to help them navigate the country or summin.

Nil Points.

Eurovision-political crap, erm, contest.

Well, as one firm beliver of up-ing anchor and rowing away from Europe; We, Britain, should stop funding the contest, stop letting them use our networks and technologies to transmit it accross Europe (and them countries like Russia who arent Europeon) and say to the pathetic politicians, STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE.

Come on, how pathetic is it when it comes down to trying to keep political ties in a song contest, where to be honest, every act was shit.

Nil Points for us. Sure ting, we went to war, no one liked us for that, and our neighbours, Ireland (who historicaly we took the piss out of) and France (who deserve to have the piss taken out of) didnt vote for us, where as the Baltics, Scandanavians and the good ole Greece'n'Cyrpus combos where out in force.

I feel sorry for Jemani. Sure there song wasnt fantastic, nor did they sing it well - BUT it wasnt as shit as most of the songs, especially Austrias!

Sure, Eurovision has always been this way, to an extent. Just not this extreme pathetic, all the pansies sticking together extent.

Big ups the Togmeister himself, Mr Terry Wogan for, as usual, doing an excellent job of commentating for us.

Back in school, I was lucky to be in school when I was in school as we where all lucky enough to be graced by Fred Ferrari.

Who? (thats what we said then)

Anyways, we where told he was an ex-mafia man who was gonna talk to us about drugs while on a tour of the world hiding from the Mafia (whos business he told us he was threatening - I couldnt see how, I mean, at 15 we werent buying the drugs and neither would we listen to an old fuddy duddy tell us not too. He might, though, of been selling drugs while on his tour telling us not to buy them)

When he came, he told us about how he grew up seeing the wise guys at the end of the street and wanting to be one, drugs, killing people and going to prison. Where, clearly he found religion and got let out - despite the brutal killing of someone, which, he says they could never fully prove.

Anyways, with some deconstruction of his story he wasnt actually in the mafia, or a wise guy at all. Instead he got in with a bunch of fellas who thought they were gangsters and so they pushed their weight around. Then they discovered drugs and they didnt sell them, no no no, they just consumed them. And the person he supposedly killed he didnt kill, he just hurt them real bad for being the man who his girlfriend cheated on him with.

But, he did show us pictures of him when he went into prison and when he came out. Looked like a mean ole killa when he went in and a bible basher when he came out. Actually he looked like a different man. Not figurativly, but actually a different man, cheek bones moved, eye sockets wider and a different jaw (and thats from memory of a shitty black and white leaflet they gave us back then - which I cant find).

So while driving earlier I wondered, what ever happened to this Fred Ferrari. Well a google search turns up very little, only ONE relevant link to him.

So hes as good as dissappeared then.

Or, as suspected, it was all rubbish.

I mean, would you be scared of a gangster called Fred Ferrari? Its as gay as naming your car, Eddie the Escort, or Tony the Tipo. (long live Kenneth the Uno)

Should modem users be allowed to exist?

How about those fools who insist on using Netscape?

Clearly the answer is no. No they shouldnt be allowed to exist.

If that means you, then pack up your computer back into the boxes it came in and send it back to the manufacturer with the heading "Too stupid to use a computer" on the covering letter, which will of course be hand written, not word processed.

If I were to meet the civil engineer who decided what road signs should go where around here, I would shake his hand.

Long have I had a fascination with the roundabout at a junction of a motorway near here, a roundabout with only one exit, which is sign posted "Halifax". Though, clearly Halifax is really about an hour and halfs drive away and this road probably isnt the best way to get there (more the road you where just on, which meets the motorway which takes you accross the country to Halifax).

But alas, during my long trip home (fouled up a turn off and couldnt be arsed queing up to go my normal way) I came accross another sign, not far from where I live that said "Todmorden". Fair enough. But the turn off it points to doesnt go to Tod. It goes to my fantastic valley, where you wont find many, or any signs to Tod. Infact, you'd be totally better off heading the other way on the motorway completly and finding Tod that way.

Makes me think though, around here we have lots of Motorways, within say, 20 mins from my house I gots M66, M65, M62 and the M60 - from these and say another 10 - 20 mins I can get to the M61, M6, M58 and the M56. Given 30 mins your on the M1 and maybe 10 more mins again, the M5. Certainly shrinks the country down as in no time at all I can be heading south, to Wales, Scotland and what not.

I remember going on hols as a kid to Butlins at Minehead, where there just isnt any motorways. How queer not to have any, when I gots so many. How do these people get places? Jokes about 'ere being hilly billy land and country bunkins surley cant apply!

NAME one thing that Wiskers cat food cat breath smells like...

THATS right,

The outside of Italian restaurants in hot countries with a slight breeze.

Ok so your lowly blogger here hasnt been posting much recently.

Its college deadlines y'see and so I've been getting my head down and studying hard. Or, racing through work to get it done at any rate.

Monday is my computing deadline, so big ups g to tha x for lingo help (also notes to (tor)mentor for letting me use his stuff for another project).

This morning I've done the razz to the airport and bar the "shit is that copper flashing at me" it all went well.

Oh, and bar the approaching a roundabout at the end of a motorway at 70ish to swap lanes, break to find my wheels are skidding - I'm aquaplaining, I'm going towards the other side and entrance of said motorway.

So what do you do in this situation?

Well, your advanced driving instructors may tell you to come of the brakes and try again. Your racing driver may tell you to come off the brakes and tuck it into the corner and on to the roundabout dealing with your excess speed then. Your rally driver may tell you to nip it sideways and lose speed like that.

I.... I.....

I'd tell you to panic.



(as it was I seem to have instintivly done a bit of the driving instructers thing with some of the racing drivers thing. came off the brakes, turned in and tried them again. NB: quiet road...)

You know when you go to Flashkit cos your bored and think for a change there might be something good on it?

And you spot that section, Design_Houses where it says "Original and high quality files from top design houses globally." and then the results are shit. (clarify: not as good as expected - or indeed from "top design houses" or even "design houses" and quite often lacking good "design" or any "design")

The odd one does creep though mind. Brendan Dawes of Magnetic North with something close to his heart.

So; was it wrong to try and bribe him for a work experience placement with the offer of dinner? (where I planned to get him drunk)

Ba weep granna weep ninny bang.

Or is it:
Bah Weep Granah Weep Ni Ni Bong, Bah weep granah weep ninny bong (< I have no idea what this page is about), Bah Weep Granah Weep Ninny Bon (the last word may be Bah) ?

Hotrod, what do you think? (from) and Cup, what about you? (from)

It still could be: Bah-weep-grah-nah-weep-ninny-bob or even Bah-weep-graaaghnah, wheep ni ni bong!

I was just power napping when I was awoken to the sound of my phone ringing.

Picked up said "hello". A women asked for me by name and then said she was from a breast cancer awareness thing and would I sell raffle tickets for her.

To which I simply replied "I dont have any breasts".

Apologies to which ever charity it was - you had just woken me up and I wasnt yet *fully* awake.

"Google searches 3,083,324,652 pages as of 4PM PT today. Assuming there are one million bloggers, and generously assuming they have a hundred pages each, that amounts to 0.032 per cent of web content indexed by Google. Recent research by Pew put the number of blog readers as opposed to writers, as "statistically insignificant"." (The Register)

I should be glad I have around 3 regular readers then I guess. It seems to me there are a few blogs who get the majority of hits and then, lets say, 999950 other blogs like mine that dont get very many.

Whys this? Perhaps cos like me, most people dont post anything that funny, interesting, unique than anyone else and many email forwards. Perhaps, like mine, people post about boring stuff from their lives in that kinda "you had to be there" sorta way.

Or perhaps, unlike my blog, the people posting are just twats.
(its goog to know we're clogging up Google I guess - though at those odds, 0.032% its kinda scary. You gotta wonder what people are searching for to get soo many blogs in the search results. Surly good to gauge net opinions if nowt else)

Brum Brum

















(special thanks to Mrs 13twelve)

Its all a bit... [Saul Bass]



"control for the devious mind" - Senate brand carries on, big ups Rollersnakes of Derby.

In a weekend where your friendly majestic 13twelve travelled around, Loughborough, Nottingham, Loughborough, Derby, Leeds and finally home then Cheshire then home.

More of Loughborough later (hmmm.... hmmm..... ~series of car noises) and Cheshire Oaks, bah.