THIRTEENTWELVE

Todays tracks of choice, Ladytron - Play Girl and of course the classic, Ladytron - He Took Her To a Movie.

And so did I.

(also any covers of Voodoo Lady you gots)

I'm supposed to be doing work now. And I will get some done. My main problem is headache.

Y'see we rented James Bond for our Xbox last night.

We had a couple of quick 1 on 1 games, multiplayer much like all of em, except your James Bond based characters fighting in James Bond movie themed arenas.

Then mrs 1312 decided she wanted to sort her room out, so let me just play the actual "nightfire" story game thing.

Well, I gotta admit its good. The whole Bond theming does really make it much more exciting, actually a couple of levels I didnt really know what I was doing, but I was having a blast doing it!

The game does take skills to get through scoring really high. But its no neccessary. The game follows a fictional film plot and so it guides you really well, honestly, you do feel like your part of it all.

Untill you die and then you gotta start the scene again, but even then its not that tough, if you die, its easy to learn from your mistakes. Though I did spend hours trying to work out the decoder machine.

And theres a level full of snipers. Its top. Difficult, they hide in shadows and on top of big things. (though dying and learning where they all are and when they appeared helps)

Plus you get to do Bond moves, like sliding down wires, shooting down helicopers, drive a V12 Aston Martin and watch it hop onto 2 wheels and use turbo boost.

Oh back to the headache. I played the damn game for far too long last night and now my head hurts.

Well what was I supposed to do, after mrs 1312 cleaned her room, she got tired and fell asleep and then somehow like 4 hours passed us by.

I may be 21 years old, but I still want to see The Jungle Book 2.

Though unlike the Wild Thorberrys movie, I will actually go see this one.

If someone says to you "I didnt know that was possible" or something simliar, then you too should experiment with saying "well, no offense, but with what you dont know I could fill a house".

It wont make you popular. But it will be funny.

Ok so I battered one of my door mirrors. Its a bit of a write off the mirror, with its gaping hole in the front of it and everything.

So at a time where I have car insurance, tax, service and mot to think about I also have to replace the darn mirror.

So the kev'ing continues. Largly cos to buy one mirror to replace mine, its summut over 60 quid plus VAT. (why my base spec polo comes with 'leccy mirrors I dont know)

The cooler sporty mirrors, DTM cup they're called come in at £117 with delivery.

So so its nearly double what I would of paid for one mirror. I do want the DTM mirrors and seen as I'm forced to chunk up a wodge of cash, I may as well chunk up more for what I actually want.

to

What do you do when you get spam email which provides a dud un-subscribe link?

Well, you simply whois.net them. And if they're daft enough to leave a hotmail address as the main contact for the site, you harrass *whoever*. Simple

13twelve fights back, as for no apparent reason I'm getting lots of spam mail where as before I got none.

transcript, i'm (offline) he is vincedima :

hello?
(Offline) says:
you hopefully got my email request for you to stop sending me spam email
(Offline) says:
you've probably paid good money for the list that email address was in, and if i where you i would ask for it back
(Offline) says:
non of your offers are relevent to me, they are not even accessable to me
vincedima says:
i not sending any spam
vincedima says:
i never spam
vincedima says:
i'm not selling anything
(Offline) says:
are you not the registered owner of www.ispdial.com
vincedima says:
this is a office
(Offline) says:
the admin contact of www.ispdial.com
vincedima says:
yes
(Offline) says:
the billing contact and the technical contact of said website
(Offline) says:
then your company is sending out spam
vincedima says:
put we provide internet to over 40k in customers
vincedima says:
no we are not
(Offline) says:
i dont really care what you do, i just want you to stop sending me email
vincedima says:
ispdial is a visp provider
vincedima says:
listen
(Offline) says:
i dont care! i'm a british broadband user
vincedima says:
i told you i'm not sending any
(Offline) says:
your marketing department is sending out spam email

The following message could not be delivered to all recipients:
your marketing department is sending out spam email

Apparently, according to one of my tutors, I am now officially "outrageous".

yay!

So I'm bored and I'm looking through my stats thingie for this site.

I notice that someone found it by yahoo! searching for thirteentwelve.

So I ran this search, sure enough I'm there. As well as some other links to my site on other peoples sites.

So then I searched 13twelve and awww pisss would you look at this.

Oh bloody brilliant and they rank above me in the search.

Ok so this is pinched from #!/usr/bin/grl but still its so brilliant to know at least one cool thing happened since the war started (other than my nape piercing).

"A military man legally changed his name to Optimus Prime."

Oh my god, just call me Megatron.

So home alone cos the parents is either away on holiday or on business.

I'm in my room, half trying to do work and half shouting at windows media player on my pc, cos it keeps playing tracks as drag them into the playlist (and bining the rest of the dam play list).

Its good job I live in a detached house and my room is on a road side. hmmmm

I can see break outs of dancing frantically in the room happening. Whats on now? Well its Perfect Circle's Judith.

Which isnt a clue or an answer to my "track 9" dilema I asked you....
(but this track does stir me into air guitar/dancing in my seat/the need to MOVE alot just like track 2 of the album in question does)

Nape piercing

Well congratulations you scrubber fucks of Manchester/Bolton.

Those new cap thingies (as mentioned in a blog post 2 days ago) have been nicked.

Thus concluding my social experiment.

In conclusion it was a kid on a bike most likely, as only 2 have been nicked. The 2 on the side parked away from the house that is.

Arent kids brilliant?

Whats this?

13twelve driving a Ferrari 360 Modena? Pimpin yes. Thats all I will say on the matter, till 3rd May that is.

Woooh haaaa flip mode bling bling

And its guessing time now. Right answers get a "yay to ........" wrong answers may get special mention depending on the originality/hilarity. (y'see this is *your* chance to give back to this blog [hahahahaha])

My new, "oh I like this track" is track 9 of an album.

Question is, which artist, album and track is it?

Answers in comments thingie please.

Walking around town as the object of my own ridicule.

After walking into the body piercing shop and announcing "neck piercing please" I am now the proud owner of a nape.

Though it required me to walk around town all stiff necked like the said denim terminator, who by the way we saw in town "oh look, its that famous fella".

The procedure hurt. But more so for the clamps which sorta grab the scuff of your neck for quite sometime, that is, before the freeze spray as it smudges the all important placement dots.

The actual piercing, or puncturing as it sounded was probably longer than it should of been, but it didnt really register to me, just the clamps.

Pictures of it soon (including freshly pierced as I was photographed by my piercer for their new website). (Pictures too of the nike cap soon too)

Ok so I'm playing a slight experiment with people. Though they dont know they are taking part.

In one of the car magazines I get (Redline I think) I got free aluminium dust caps for your tyres. So they are shiny metal dust caps rather than black plastic ones.

I've put them on my car, not to kev up some more (though it does look better - any comments on "sure your just kevving up etc. would be passe and worthless)

But more so to see just how long they last.

My guess is about, I dunno, week max? They've done a day so far, which included a trip to down. I am unsure if they'll make the weekend or not though.

**J0_W0Z_£Y@** posted:

"WOT U CHATTIN BOUT NIKE SCALLY CAPS R TOP DEY IZ WELL WORTH MY MONEY N E DAY SO GET LOST U LOSER BWOYS JUS COZ U NEVA HAD HARD M8S N A POSSE DAT ROAM DA STREETZ IN DERE BLING N NIKE HATS U R SO SAD I BET U IZ A MOSHER OR GOTH SOME GAY TING LIKE F**K U UR ALL BATTY BWOYZ
S C A L L Y S RULE THE WORLD"

... as comment, as yet I havnt been able to find any relevent posting in my blog. I imagine its in one of the two rants about nike caps (dont know what gave that away).

But anyways, I have my suspiscians it was g to the x, largly cos of the use of the br tag, which I wouldnt grant any actually scalli the intelligence to know how to use.

On the off chance it was a real scalli. Then welcome. (your just another hit on the site to me - as 13twelve plays the web counter stat hits game thingie)

The comment is genious though!

So in responce. "Stop yaaa trippin' and chill, yo"

(infact respect to whoever, for reading that many of my archives, i posted that rant on Nike caps on Monday, December 30, 2002 at 5:24 PM. I am prepared to accept whoever it was may well have google searched Nike caps and go my archive or that who ever actually went through everyone of my rantings since November last year. This points something else out, this site needs a re-design, its clear, that like me, its too old now)

You know when your in Manchester when:

The homeless people look like Lenin.

You hear "ahhhh rawwwwww ahhhhh" and a nylon string'd guitar outside Boots.

You hear "the sun aint shining, the sky aint blue, would you like to buy a Big Issue, two free staples with every pack"

When that fella comes up to you telling you his grand story of how he needs to get back to Leeds after being mugged, which happens every week.

And you spot the before mentioned Market Street Mincer, who may also go by the name, the Denim Terminator.
(my comments now on the msm link below, near the bottom)

1152 am isnt James Stanich (see rant earlier about key 103) but instead the sound of my cars engine.

I shit you not, the revs can be heard through the radio in my car. Abeit in a very 80s Atari grand prix arcade game machine sorta way.

It is a top discovery. (not better than the MSM below though - sorry non manchester people, but he is a local hero, clearly)

The market street mincer, or pervy pav.

Thank god we're not the only people (well g to the x, (tor)mentor, trixie) to have seen him.

He infact has an online fan club. Could this world get *any* better?

Well if your after a fairly solid 1997 style metal album (which I guess would be sorta nu-metal, BUT, before that was a popular thing, back when it was too heavy for the masses, a bit like Godsmack) then you should definatly try out Stuck Mojo's "Declaration of a Headhunter".

Its filled with political pants, much like Rising which is also in the car. But you can ignore that, especially as this time its done in a much less serious, almost humourous way.

Stuck Mojo, seems they can be relied upon to just make Stuck Mojo music, without the need to "progress" or "evolve" or "take the band in new directions". Which lets face it, 9 times out of 10 makes a band sound like shit.

Will Havens good for this, every album sounds almost exactly the same as the previous one, bar better sound as more money got spent on production. This is not a bad thing. They do what they do best. Simple.

Commercial Breaks and Beats failed me for telling me what that music is on the Nike stick man basketball and football (soccer - we lurve your socher) adverts is.

Bah. Does remind me of easymistakes.com cos it was he who informed me of the site.

I wonder how easymistakes.com is going?

Omar knows all.

(thats it)

Some one hurry up and visit the site.

Huuurrrryyyyy

Ok I was thinking ( a rare and magic thing, I know )

There is 2 conspiricies. (well theres 1000s but I'm thinking of too, dont worry, you dont need to guess which too, I am going to tell you)

One is that the Americans didnt actually go to the moon, that it was all staged. Suggesting, actually in technology (in secret) terms, we suck.

Another, is that the Americans have UFOs and what not, from Roswell etc. Suggesting that actually our technology (in secret) rocks.

Is one like over kill for the other, should we belive a middle ground. Yes we have some cool technology, not *that* cool and not *that* shit?

Why do TV programs have credits?

Whats the point? And films.

No one watches them, no one really cares. If you wanted to find something out, despiratly, about who was who, or who the "executive sound producer" was, then you could always check the net.

So why dont adverts have them?

So is there a future in these?

I mean, it may be in the future, as in long term, for all us males.

I would just like to say, that on the airplane to Venice I, in the greatest English tradition, I bagsied window seat.

I dont know what the word exactly means, how to spell it, where it comes from. But I know how to use it. My god do I know that.

OK so what did I think of the Vagina Monologues?

Well, I've been summing it up to others with this story:

A few years ago, my mother came back from a weekend away and was desperate to tell me her funny story. The story roughly went along the lines that she was walking down the sea front and they came accross some old ladies taking photos of each other. And (get this - as my mum said it), instead of saying cheese, (my mum already in histerics), they said viagra.

So now shes laughing away and I'm sat in my room on my computer trying to fein a laugh, when really I'm thinking that is about the least funny, most passe and but, more importantly the least original and funny thing to say, ever. (especially as in the months before, viagra was in the news, being big and on the lips of all the comedians and more importantly the shitty sub comedians lips).

So the monologues contained some interesting, deep stories which I liked. But at the intros and the bits between the actual monologues, there was bits of talking written by someone trying to be funny rather than someone that was actually funny. This annoyed me.

Also, some of the ways the stories were told, was in a manner to get laughs at what really wasnt that funny, either by pulling of the face, or waving of the arms. This annoys me too.

It seems that in opening up the vagina as a topic for open discussion, the only way its acceptable in which to talk about it, is in a humorous, less serious way. As though actual open discussion was still deemed to "hard" for people to accept. But for me, it would of been better this way, if it was "hard" and it did offend people. (so I'm not saying no humour at all, the humour should of been comedian written and used in better ways for me).

So like my story above, for middle-aged --> old women, who want to have a giggle at a taboo subject, its good. For people wanting moving storys, theres a couple - and they did move me. But for people wanting to see something actually funny, dont bother. It was hard even to laugh at, what I deemed as total sadness, as some of the older women laughed histerically when hearing the vagina refferred to as a front bottom. (yes yes, it was probably a retard like you who answered that in the survey).

Mrs 13twelve says the book is better, which suggests cracks in the way the monologues are performed in even her eyes. Though, she probably thinks I'm just full of shit in this post and maybe I am. Not having read the book wont stop me agreeing though, its probably better to read that for the moving stories rather than see the play.

Tamara Beckworth is scaryily thin though. My god shes thin. And posh sounding. And so to conclude, in the words of the great Ozzy Osbourne, "see you Tamara"
hahah
Which of course means later on today, and so no tommorow, when I post more stuff.

Crazy American/Canadian girl behind the bar where we watched the Vagina Monologues at the weekend, when asked for a Coke and a Lemonade responded with:

"half and half?" Figuring she meant 2 half pint glasses of coke and lemonade.

But, no, then she said "Oh I've never made one of these before"

No no no, we want A coke and A lemonade.

Facial peircings prove useful again.

OK so I found myself at the Hard Rock cafe again (oh no, I get to have the food i love, again hahaha)

Leaning over the bar to order drinks, having to wait ages as some wanker lads push their way in and the fact Hard Rock was just mega busy.

Anyways, the bar man who served me last week comes over and takes my order. (now just to add, soft drinks are re-fillable for free)

He gives me 2 cokes and a lemonade, then says, "you already had drinks" and took no money from me :-) (well I did, last week)

I cant stand that wanker Brian May or that silly cunt from ACDC. Y'know the one.

Schooly dressing should only be for those who only left school in the past 5 years and girls.

Hmmm. haha

Ok so this weblog hasnt died. I've just been away and busy.

Away in Venice, bow in awe of my new found culture'd ness. And busy being no longer 20 years old but the grand old 21 instead.

Yes yes. I now am old. Pass me the slippers and pipe (or the nike cap)

I was gonna try and post loads today. But. I seem to have slept for like an hour and now feeling quite like I have a hang over, despite not having drunk (in any serious quantity) since I was 17. (champagne/red wine on special occasions doesnt count, though, I didnt have any for my own birthday).

So I'm not sure whats going to happen...

Thats the last time I offer to wire up a video for my parents.

Somehow I've picked up a really painful burn type thing on my arm. And it frikken kills.
Bah! Stupid videos.

"Also, Google liked our logo. And we liked their food." - Blogger FAQ on the Blogger parent company, Pyra Labs buyout by Google.

Congrats, Its a very me reason to do something, so I totally hear and respec citing that as a reason to sell up. (that among others, I think I would of *just* wrote that though)

Well today I've mainly been staring at peoples large noses.

I mean, sure they must have complex's enough about them, so why they make such cocks of themselves and draw attention to themselves and so their noses. I dont know.

Do these people know they have big noses? Or do they think they are normal? Do people tell them they have humongous conks rammed in a very cruel fashion to their faces?

I guess its a social and peer acceptance thing. The anwser to which I dont know. (as noone I know has a silly nose)

I guess if the person with the nose was useful to you, then you be nice. Otherwise, point, stare laugh and write about it in a blog post.

To be fair, its about time we all went to watch the Wildthornberrys movie for that great character, Donnie.

((string of un-coherant noises))

Oh, you should of seen mrs 13twelves face when the fella at the cinema asked her for proof of age when going into Jackass on friday night.

Killer. That fella is lucky to be alive.

Even though I pointed out, its cos of her lovely youthful looks.

She took it as meaning 12 and went nuts :-)

Proud to be dragged about places by mrs 13twelve.

Go get facial piercings. You get recognised in places you often frequent (so not my parents house then).

This isnt always a bad thing.

As we turn up to the hard rock and the woman says "your here all the time, are you a member of the access all areas"

What? No.

"I'll put you down as one, you'll get to skip the que for a table"

yay! (we still waited ages)

There is a new tax benefits advert on telly for child benefit. The only reason I point this out, is that its pretty good. You should check it out.

Its a animation with video, with scenes and characters as part of a fictional note. The execution of it is fantastic, I really like it.

Yay! For the return of the mini skirt. Legs are out again.

Though right now its for the very high laugh, pisstake and bitching sessions over the hundreds of cornbeef legs walking around in the cold weather of the British winter.

You gotta think female fashion is run by men. Last year a load of see through stuff, this year, once again mini skirts and the advent of the mini-mini-skirts and some more see through stuff.

Bloody chauvanists. Ahem.

Watch out for a clone army near you.

Too many bleached (or mousey brown with high/low highlights, y'know the streaks things -Mrs 13twelve) blondes (or bloods as my phone types) all dressing the same in a pub, club, shop and town near you.

Of course there is the other clone army of Barrys with their striped jumpers and grey Nike caps. But these are somewhat less funny. just irratating.

Mrs 13twelve wanted and probably still wants more, shoe bags. (oh yes, and shoes)

Russel and Bromley do shoe bags, as seen in a magazine (apparently). So of to Russel and Bromley we go.

Inside we find out that they dont actually sell the bags, just give them away with expensive shoes. Then the young man winked at me. Went into the back and said camply "but I'll see if we have any".

Then he came back with a couple of bags, winked at me again and said "there you go". We said our thank yous and left.

I wonder if I can get any more freebies by gay men working in shops? hmmm